so its taken me 7 years but i've finally figured out i will Always have flashbacks. i guess going through therapy i thought when i had one if i hurried to therapist, and described in detail my flashback and related incident that it would be gone...forever. i was wrong. i'm finally realizing that not only will i Always have flashbacks, that i may have periodic new ones as well. My goal should be learning how to deal with these in my life. My pdoc is a great resource for me on that. He described once how he had a major flashback right before our appt. (as i was coming in the door) but he had to put it aside to help me. This i guess is a hands on experience for me to realize that it CAN be done. That i dont NEED to explain or rehash in detail that flashback inorder for it to go away. That i need to figure out how to push through the ones that i get. i feel a part of me has asked this for a few years but either i got the answer and couldn't understand or deal with it at the time and needed to talk about them or i just wasn't getting the right answer for me to 'get-it'.
I admire my pdoc greatly. mostly cuz he's very intelligent, but hes got a great personality that fits my needs very well. and since he works with people with PTSD i feel he will be a great resource for me on this.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
in Court
so i went to court today to be a witness for a great friend who is going through a tough divorce. it made me very nervous, because of my own issues. i was afraid i was going to be really questioned about my past, about abuse, about medications, about something that would just trigger me to no end and then i would fail my friend.
it was NOTHING like that. it lasted maybe 5 minutes that i was on the stand. the lawyer asking specific questions. i answered. was not asked ANY questions by other attorney.
Im still a little emotionally shook up inside. because it did bring up old stuff. but i know it'll be ok.
AND i did stay for the whole thing. i loved that i could be there for this friend who has always helped me out through all my hospital stays and emotional turmoil. and listening to the other side, assured me that i did the right thing in helping my friend get much more visitation rights to his little daughter.
it was NOTHING like that. it lasted maybe 5 minutes that i was on the stand. the lawyer asking specific questions. i answered. was not asked ANY questions by other attorney.
Im still a little emotionally shook up inside. because it did bring up old stuff. but i know it'll be ok.
AND i did stay for the whole thing. i loved that i could be there for this friend who has always helped me out through all my hospital stays and emotional turmoil. and listening to the other side, assured me that i did the right thing in helping my friend get much more visitation rights to his little daughter.
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