New high definition fiber tracking reveals damage caused by traumatic brain injury

New high definition fiber tracking reveals damage caused by traumatic brain injury

Quantum microphone captures extremely weak sound

Quantum microphone captures extremely weak sound

Cariprazine (RGH-188)

 Cariprazine (RGH-188)
 looking for NDA (approval)  in 2012.

Cariprazine (RGH-188), a Dopamine D3 Receptor-Preferring, D3/D2 Dopamine Receptor Antagonist–Partial Agonist Antipsychotic Candidate: In Vitro and Neurochemical Profile
Article from Jan 21, 2010


So it seems that Cariprazine is most like Abilify. Except with the affinity for D3 receptors. also low affinity for H1 (and 5-ht2c)than abilify.
Maybe something else that wont make us sleepy, and maybe MAYBE less weight gain, eh?

it is anticipated that the clinical effects of cariprazine caused by 5-HT2A receptor activity would be considerably less.
suggesting that cariprazine may have low propensity for causing extrapyramidal symptoms.

Positive results in phase II of bipoar mania and schizophrenia trials.
Now positive results in 2 phase III.which i think only included schizophrenia.

but is also being investigated in bipolar depression and as adjunct tx for MDD.

i dont know where i'm at. somebody come save me.
why do i always turn outward for a savior?
do i deserve saving?
do i need it?
im ready to disappear, but not die.
not act.
im no longer falling. i'm running.

the stress is killing me. i NEED to know an answer but i'm So afraid to push.
please God help me get the answers i need.
yes i do Believe God is listening. and i believe he will send me a message. i just hope its soon, and i hope i am open enough to receive it.

i miss -----/

some of this may be a repeat from the other day but this in whole is where i am at in my mind.
1. i worry about the suffering of the far but also the very local homeless and injured, those with traumatic brain injuries that cannot communicate. i'm helpless to help them, i have no skill but compassion.
2. pain and tragedy of those being harmed...in youth, how can this be stopped/prevented?
3. to those so entrenched intheir own lives and their own 'little' successes.
they are poor and small minded in a whole that they can not see that they are so small and insignificant in those little sucesses. it is only with family and friends and god that we are truly successful.
4. i like lucius have been transformed not into the winged creature ive discovered i am now but into the dumb beast of an Ass. yes i live under the readar which until now has been fine. but now i see and know that i am more than an Ass but all those around me, that is all they see, some have even grown to love. my transforming now will benefit my soul but disurupt my life and of those around me.   i am constantly supressed. constant obstacles, i am but a joke, as the creature i am see as, not for what i am.
5. i want to stay drugged and dull so that i may stay friends and that my marriage stays happy.
6. i wish in part to od this time to cause just enough damage to dull my. so that i have little to no intraspection.
i fthis is not possible that i think at times with my inner struggles so deep that i would be better at rest. the inner struggles rip my heart and divide my soul. and the worst part of all is that it is within theis struggle within this knowledge of how individuals must change to grow and flourish, that i must remain silent. and within this, i am utterly eternally alone.

i am back again to rant and ramble about the idiocy of those around. that they are so caught up in the minutiae of life that all around is lost to them. that the depths of colors are blended and dull to them. They see only what they want to see. they believe blue can only be one shade because that is what they've known and what they want to believe.  They think they see a rainbow because they see a few colors, when really what they see is a contained wheel, a mere fraction of the wondrous beauty that is color.
yes it is true that there is more that i want to accomplish in my life but it is not what you see as your plan for me. You have known no side of me that the desires flourish from. you have seen only a portion of my demon afflicted soul. nothing more.
just as Lucius encountered the Bandits which took the Ass (himself), i too get stolen in another form for others to see and assume that THAT is my whole. when infact i have a whole other being inside. one also that was trying to transform into a winged creature rather than getting trapped inside the form and an Ass. 
I wish at times like this that i could just be 'let go'. That God would give me the blessing of transcending to a place of rest at his feet.
I know i have responsibilities here and my heart aches at the loss of that.But at times like this it is easy to ignore those and morn for the loss of peace in my heart and soul.
Oh how i weep to be around true philosophers, poets and the elder souls. I mourn for that company.

But i shall go on. i shall move now (after taking a few more pills pushing my limits once again), i have to will myself to head to my two hearts that are waiting eagerly for a lively and guiding ever being mother.  
I shall go
i Will to be back.

Gaining Linguistic structure/vocab

so i'm regarining a little of my vocabulary after years of lost intellect due to altering psych meds.
this seems to bode well for me and my personal confidence. however, it seems a constant consternation to me at work. Those around me seemed to have thought me a .....half-wit...for lack of better word. As some of their comments to me are insulting.
the other day i was listening to a podcast on socratic method, which lets face it everyone knows about. and one person overheard this and was...his words "impressed" that i was listening to it. it seemed it was very...deep...for someone such as me i suppose (i say angry and sarcastic).

however, to give him the benefit of the doubt i have never shown my true side to him in the past. i allow him to see only what i want him to see and in the past i have only ever needed him tosee the 'student' side of me.

Also, the person who in the past saw (or i thought) saw me as intelligent, has lately been aggitated with me and almost as if he is trying to prove that he is at a ...higher level than me.
which...well, i'm no fool. he is. BUT, its like he was starting to get insecure around me.

Sorry guys but it seems that most of the males i've met in my life are like this. They seem to get Very insecure around intelligent women. That in part is why i have tried all my life to play it dumb. To push down and silence my intellect. and it's worked.
It seems more and more, no one wants to be around me when i'm smart...except work folk...when its to their benefit.

i'm sad...  :(

Finally back, i think.

so its been way too long since i last posted.
it seems ive been dealing with some mood fluxes and some interpersonal issues.

i know i need to write about all this but i cant seem to do it.

so i just saw pdoc last night and had a breakdown about my "partner" and i use that term loosely right now.

i am also really coming more to terms with my level of knowledge. i hate to say intelligence because then i feel like i'm bragging or being 'bigger' than i am. i dont like that. and i hate it when my pdoc acknowledges that. as he did several times last night.

i am going to dive back into the world of quantum physics.
this summer i have been reading Nietchze, Kant, Descarte and Hume. and that was good but i need to get back to more science and slightly less metaphysical...note i say slightly less.

****************************
if anyone has suggestions on good books, let me know.
i know all the basics. copenhagen, bohr, schroedinger, etc. but just feel like reading a little more.