so i'm finally back on regimine with meds.
but feeling pretty lucky, only on 4 this time....so far.
the side effects have been minimal, some vision stuff and of course tired as hell.
i was getting pretty freaked out before i got back on meds. the SI came back pretty quickly, only had a few visuals, and a couple auditory illusions.
And at least i got to try a new AP. in many ways its WAY better than the other, but...in one way its not. there is still very obvious breakthrough depression that is getting very hard to pretend is not there.
pdoc has already upped med once, does he up again? or augment with AD? or ....switch...ugh.
i just cant handle the med merry-go-round this time. its just so exhausting.
sometimes i really wish i had it in me to just finish what i couln't 5 years ago.
its funny when people tell you how many things that are amazing that you have to live for...what they dont understand is that depression is a disease of the mind and it takes All that away. either you dont care, you cant see it, or you somehow still view all that better off without you.
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