Dead Can Dance

So have had several downs since last posted, ran across some great quotes and other great reading material. Did i remember to be active in my journaling and write all this down in my blog.... No.
So here i am barely remembering and adding new.
i have been going to the library after work for 20min or so. and reading the 'writing' magazine. Trying to get some good tips to help me introduce my characters and such. getting some great information. i'm just worried that cuz of some of these meds. i'm not going to remember crap.  i actually wrote a page and a half yesterday. i was pretty impressed with myself. The problem is, i have to do it in the morning or after work otherwise i am too freaking exhausted at night. After kiddos go down, i'm ready to lay my own head down. in fact i've been getting to bed earlier and earlier. say around 9:00 and i'm STILL wiped in the morning. Today i didnt get up until 10 til 7. which is normally when i leave. luckily with God on my side, somehow i was only 5 min late!
anyway. i wish i had more time to write. i really enjoy it. it is a great way to get some of my pent up emotions out. part of me really wishes i could stay home two days a week and just write. Maybe if i can sell a couple books then maybe that will be a possibility. Problem is, ive heard you really dont make that much money off childrens books. i'm sure that's true. But i tell you, of some of the crap stories i've read in the library for my little ones, i'm pretty sure i can get mine published. Boy there are some stinkers out there.
Problem is, i planned on mine being a simple 10-12 page picture book. I've already got 19 full pages written and my protagonist is barely half way through her journey.

anyway. aside from that my meds are working. but the zyprexa IS not letting me exercise, and im Craving sweets. i dont like that. i took my last 10mg last night i think i'm going to go back down to 5mg and maybe augment with TCA if needed.
i dont even know if i should stay on the pristiq, it doesnt seem to be working this time around... and my nails are SO soft. they break at any chance. tried fake nails to let them grow out. it worked but i think they are hard on them. The first time around it didnt work much but this time it seemed to really let them grow out at least even and a few past the skin. not sure if pristiq or not.

Oh and before i forget. i watched "Legend of the Guardians: the owls of Ga'Hoole" and it was FANTASTIC. there is one scene where he's flying in the storm and the music i Swear sounded like Elizabeth Fraser but it turns out its a song from Dead Can Dance. so i'm gonna be checking out their music today.