i feel like overdosing today. Not enough for death mind you. crazy thing is i dont know why. i have these urges to overtake my prescribed medication. and it is not driven by the meds themselves.
i want to skate on the boundries between here and shadowland (what i believe is just before death). do you call it stoned if you dont mind side effects from your rx'd meds? is it bad to welcome that drape of numbness i feel from my meds?
sometimes i am amazed at the depth of torture we as people endure, not from others but from ourselves.
the 'trickery' of things we tell ourselves. Of what we wrongly assume to know. That only by age and experience do we finally learn we are wrong. we are all wrong. we were all wrong.
in youth we have strength and courage, in age we have weakness and wisdom.
what if we are tired of knowing how wrong we all are, and medications help us to dumb down. to see things once again as simple. black and white instead of the vast greyness things truly are...
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