i am back again to rant and ramble about the idiocy of those around. that they are so caught up in the minutiae of life that all around is lost to them. that the depths of colors are blended and dull to them. They see only what they want to see. they believe blue can only be one shade because that is what they've known and what they want to believe.  They think they see a rainbow because they see a few colors, when really what they see is a contained wheel, a mere fraction of the wondrous beauty that is color.
yes it is true that there is more that i want to accomplish in my life but it is not what you see as your plan for me. You have known no side of me that the desires flourish from. you have seen only a portion of my demon afflicted soul. nothing more.
just as Lucius encountered the Bandits which took the Ass (himself), i too get stolen in another form for others to see and assume that THAT is my whole. when infact i have a whole other being inside. one also that was trying to transform into a winged creature rather than getting trapped inside the form and an Ass. 
I wish at times like this that i could just be 'let go'. That God would give me the blessing of transcending to a place of rest at his feet.
I know i have responsibilities here and my heart aches at the loss of that.But at times like this it is easy to ignore those and morn for the loss of peace in my heart and soul.
Oh how i weep to be around true philosophers, poets and the elder souls. I mourn for that company.

But i shall go on. i shall move now (after taking a few more pills pushing my limits once again), i have to will myself to head to my two hearts that are waiting eagerly for a lively and guiding ever being mother.  
I shall go
i Will to be back.