so the bad thing about blogging is that i dont have network access at home in the evenings so i cant blog when i need it most. so i've started to journal again.
been having horrible flashbacks. saw T yesterday and she did a process that i think helped. i still kinda see the visual but its blurry now, not as REAL. and i can make it stop or go away. also, i m having problems with my meds again. on my end. i'm taking too many when those flashbacks come on. i just want to slip away. and one of these days if i dont watch myself, i will.
i need something faster acting like the gabapentin but a bit stronger. my T's been trying to get ahold of pdoc to get me in and FINALLY this morning she got a response that he said yes hed get me in. i hate that she had to bug him about that, but i need refill at the very least. but i would prefer something else, because i think the xanax is also hitting on some addiction nerve cuz when i take one i want to take more. and have to fight THAT urge on top of everything else.
anyway. doing well this morning. ate breakfast even. and i need to journal a bit.
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